Hot Slut Of The Day!

Get the Full StoryBarbie s extremely elegant silver Vette!

It s been much, much too long since there s been a Barbie-themed HSOTD around these parts, so I m making up for it by paying homage to a fixture of subtle 80s glamour. Nothing could take the breath away from an 80s girl or gay like the luminous sight of Crystal Barbie riding up in a demurely classic silver Corvette. I suffered from asthma as a child, so my mom probably thought I was having some kind of attack. But I was just gay-gasping from looking at luxury in motion.

Of course, the most iconic of Barbie s Vettes is her signature pink Vette, which I never liked, because I m sorry, but the pink Corvette will forever and always belong to Angelyne. That is why I prefer the much more tasteful and sophisticated silver Vette convertible. It came out in the early-80s, and on the outside, it looked like a dozen angels jizzed all over it. Completely breathtaking. And the inside featured a sumptuous interior made up of hard plastic magenta seats for Barbie to comfortably rest her plastic body in as she zooms around town. Barbie s silver Vette wasn t only a majestic work of physical beauty, it was practical too! I mean, as this commercial shows, Barbie s silver Vette had the perfect place for you to store your ruffled chiffon stole!

And when Barbie wanted something a little less flashy and more casual for a drive to the grocery store, she could get into her extremely understated 85 Ultra Vette. This is like the car version of tap water in a paper cup. It was THAT basic and bland:

I never got to play with an actual Ultra Vette, and it s a good thing I didn t. Because if I did, a little gay me would ve exploded into glitter and my mom would ve cursed my name since she would have to clean it up. But my sister s friend had both a pink and silver Vette and we used to race them down the sidewalk. We were very hypnotized by the gorgeousness of Barbie s silver Vette, so I m sure we didn t notice all the actual cars crashing from drivers being distracted by all that refined gracefulness.

Pic: eBay

Share: